this is us being absolutely postive that we're never going to be absolutely positive of anything.

Monday, March 8, 2010

to tb :)

that wasn't to you directly
i love you and whatever you do i'm there
live your life babe.

*loving the use of nickname*

Sunday, March 7, 2010

guernica

hey look over there
it's my breakdown for the week all over and done with
i'm already sick of myself

how about we drink some tea, talk about boys and forget we have independent thoughts.

the most attractive thing about a boy is his music


*YOU TAKE MY LIFE WHEN YOU DO TAKE THE MEANS WHEREBY I LIVE*
no i will NOT 'go weird' and no i will NOT react badly
no i will NOT compromise your safety and no i will NOT break under pressure
i will NOT forget about my responsibilities and i will NOT wish to

i will NOT give up this fight
and i will NOT have everyone lose their trust in me

all i fucking want
is a hug and someone to laugh with

it may seem as if everyone is saying the same thing around about now

but whatever. i just sit here doing nothing thinking about how people around me just seem to always have it better off.
i know it's not true. i know i am lucky but i don't CARE

all my freaking life i've sat and nodded while having the same message drilled into me
"do not take what you have for granted.. you're very lucky"

lucky is the exact opposite of what i feel
did you know that i actually don't handle my anger as well as everyone thinks
did you know every time we have an overcast day i get really, really down
did you know that i've been fighting for a break for a very long time now
did you know
i've had enough
but i'm never going to get enough

because i can win. i can beat this all. i can show everyone that i have the strength it takes to conquer my weaknesses.

the world had better fucking watch out
i'm half prepared and in need of help, but yeah
i can fucking do it.

my lover, my mother, my baby and my friend


what a super night
my friends are so goddamn brilliant
oh gosh.



just,,,,
gosh.

Friday, March 5, 2010

a real bad egg

constant inconvenience
feelings are so unecessary
actions are so overrated
why can't we all just...be?

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

exasperated sighs and best memories


he is so fit


i actually hate who i become sometimes, but i'm trying to keep that side of me under control. i like being fun, i promise this is for the better.
mm well of to study the pancreas and daydream about brendon urie and other boys whose names shall not be disclosed at this certain point in time.
ciao.x


Monday, March 1, 2010

i can't figure out which spice girl i want to impregnate...

a shitty day
ended up being a good one

and then just when i thought excitement was over for the day
a whole chuck of confusion had to be thrown in