high tea

i don't actually care

you look like someone i used to know

thankyou

i told them i was too busy cleaning
so they came to my house and told me i needed to get out

cumquats, records, would you rather's, mixing ice cream, shooting riffles

those boys
make me smile (:

let's be friends

she reassured me
and he made me laugh

sometimes for a few minutes i get really down
but then with the help of some weird/amazing kids
i realise just how much i enjoy
living

and pokemon

i'll give you the answer to that mister bender, next saturday

and these children that you spit on
as they try to change their worlds
are immune to your consultation.
they're quite aware what they're going through.



i don't see how people can go out trying to be like someone else or conforming to what everyone else is doing

and then have the audactity to then go around telling people they take pride in being an individual.

it's funny because it's you

+ i used to think i was un-subtle until i met you

don't you wanna get out of cape cod tonight?

walcott, don't you know that it's insane?

everything is looking up

making new friends, making deals with my parents, making new email addresses; it's all good

this is where i decide to fit in with the cool kids and make a holiday checklist

• take photos
• make some new clothes
• buy some new clothes
• start friendships
• extend friendships
• renew friendships
• sing
• dance
• cook
• laugh :)
• teach myself some more guitar
• fill up my ipod
• learn to skateboard
• walk places
• earn money
• save money
• spend money
• learn the lyrics i never understood
• vampire weekend preperation :D:D:D:D:D:D:D
• have a movie marathon
• have and go to sleepovers
• plan ahead
• not cancel on you (sorry)
• excersise
• get new shoes
• decorate new shoes
• finish redoing my room
• meet strangers
• service the commuity (i love you nicholas)
• take oppertunites
• take things as they come
• have fun :)

is very confused

music is the second most important thing in my life.

friends

are the first.

life is a game

pathetic.

it's one of the most horrible words

in the english language

but today,

all day,

i felt like nothing more

or nothing less.

CATCHING BIEBER FEVER, FORGET THE SWINE FLU.

it's fun here... in easyland

i can hear it in your smile..you care.

"i can't ever see myself having another yesterday like i will tomorrow"

i'm addicted to blogging

get that it's a movie quote

after two weeks of cataloguing all his faults, i made a command decision that changed my life.

i threw the list away.

he's not a balance sheet, so many wonderful qualities, so many faults.

nothing ever could, ever did give me a moments pause about this marriage

except one, you.

you'll always be there in his mind. this perfect creature he loved all those years

i've had to face all my competitive drives, believe me i've got them.

and the answer was simple.

you win

you're enshrined in his heart and memory. unassainable.

which works out great..

he has you on a pedestal

but me in his arms.

cruise control

don't fight me

p.s.

mmnah ;)

sticks, stones and broken bones.

so you're kind of sweet
and you're kind of perfect

i'm kind of addicted
but "thats what i'm concentrating on ignoring"

i love thinking about the future.
i remember asking my teachers in primary school
why people were scared to grow up
becauuse we have so much to experience.

they told me everyone wants to stay young as long as possible

that was the first time i knew i wasn't like everyone else.

the kite was erased from the sky

last night was brilliant
this morning was good

during the day was awful

the afternoon couldn't have been worse

but tonight

my life was made :)

...SO THAT WAS AN OVERREACTION

but still.

want to hear a secret?

i have a thing for musicians.

**

okay so my last post was an exaggeration.

and i'd rather not elaborate on things i shouldn't have said

coolthanks.

you deserve better

no i don't know how to explain it
no i don't know why i said it

i don't know why,
but it seems i have you up on this pedestal
that could be for so many reasons that i'm not quite sure of

on this pedestal
it seems that not many are good enough for you

but it's not for me to judge
it's kinda disgusting if i do, really.

so i'm sorry
i honestly
do not know what i'm talking about

94% of the time.

trees in the ocean

we are the champions

i have a thousand faces.

okay so maybe i was a little disappointed
so maybe i still am

"i want to be her friend"

what
does
that
even
mean

who says that anymore anyway?

and there's my emotions
mixing in people i hoped to never feel that way about again

that sentence made no sense whatsoever
but i like it :)

goodnight all.

okaycool

so i decided to stop blogging
it's getting overrated, overused and underappreciated
but
it lasted two days

because i thought i was going to explode from keeping everything inside
the thing no one seems to know about me
is i have alot to say
(take note that most people would have noticed this)

but when i talk, it's not often i say things that are actually important.
because i think about them
and calculate
whether they're worth saying
they usually are
..but i usually don't


it may not have seemed possible but life has gotten even more messed up in the last two days.

boys are trouble. stay away. booo hiisss
i love them though :))
every single last one of them.

friends are funsies
i hate that word
but they're worth using it for.

I WILL FINISH THIS LATER WHEN I CAN BE BOTHERED
bother bother bothered bothering

..what an odd word


i hate shoes

over and out

i'll come back one day

let's all fuck up.

bleugh.

truth in my statement

i'm so freaking impressive

like it's not even humourous

boys are confusing

because one minute i'm lonely, wondering if i will ever even be noticed by a boy again

next minute, i don't know what to do with my feelings because i have multiple guys that i could go for..or whatever the kids like to call it these days.

if you could have any superpo- FLIGHT.

to tb :)

that wasn't to you directly

i love you and whatever you do i'm there

live your life babe.

*loving the use of nickname*

guernica

hey look over there

it's my breakdown for the week all over and done with

i'm already sick of myself

how about we drink some tea, talk about boys and forget we have independent thoughts.

the most attractive thing about a boy is his music

*YOU TAKE MY LIFE WHEN YOU DO TAKE THE MEANS WHEREBY I LIVE*

no i will NOT 'go weird' and no i will NOT react badly

no i will NOT compromise your safety and no i will NOT break under pressure

i will NOT forget about my responsibilities and i will NOT wish to

i will NOT give up this fight

and i will NOT have everyone lose their trust in me

all i fucking want

is a hug and someone to laugh with

it may seem as if everyone is saying the same thing around about now

but whatever. i just sit here doing nothing thinking about how people around me just seem to always have it better off.

i know it's not true. i know i am lucky but i don't CARE

all my freaking life i've sat and nodded while having the same message drilled into me

"do not take what you have for granted.. you're very lucky"

lucky is the exact opposite of what i feel

did you know that i actually don't handle my anger as well as everyone thinks

did you know every time we have an overcast day i get really, really down

did you know that i've been fighting for a break for a very long time now

did you know

i've had enough

but i'm never going to get enough

because i can win. i can beat this all. i can show everyone that i have the strength it takes to conquer my weaknesses.

the world had better fucking watch out

i'm half prepared and in need of help, but yeah

i can fucking do it.

my lover, my mother, my baby and my friend

what a super night
my friends are so goddamn brilliant
oh gosh.



just,,,,
gosh.

a real bad egg

constant inconvenience
feelings are so unecessary
actions are so overrated
why can't we all just...be?

exasperated sighs and best memories

he is so fit

i actually hate who i become sometimes, but i'm trying to keep that side of me under control. i like being fun, i promise this is for the better.

mm well of to study the pancreas and daydream about brendon urie and other boys whose names shall not be disclosed at this certain point in time.

ciao.x

i can't figure out which spice girl i want to impregnate...

a shitty day
ended up being a good one

and then just when i thought excitement was over for the day
a whole chuck of confusion had to be thrown in